Cracking the Code on Impactful One on Ones
Let’s talk about one-on-ones — the underrated leadership superpower that too often becomes a rushed check-in or, worse, another meeting to survive. But when done well? One-on-ones are where the real magic happens.
At their core, one-on-one meetings are intentional conversations between a manager and a team member. They aren’t just about tasks or status updates (though those can come up); they’re about connection, support, development, and trust. They’re one of the most valuable ways leaders can truly show up for their people.
But here’s the thing—impactful one-on-ones don’t happen by default. They happen by design.
First, let’s start with purpose. It’s easy to fall into a rhythm of going through the motions, but clarity is what gives these meetings meaning. Try starting with something as simple as, “I want to use our one-on-ones to support your growth and help our team succeed.” Then ask your employee, “What would make this time most valuable for you?” That invitation sets the stage for shared ownership and collaboration.
Speaking of collaboration—agendas aren’t just for big meetings. Even a short one, shared in advance, shows respect for each other’s time and priorities. It helps frame the conversation and gives both people space to prepare. And if you’re not sure what to include? Just ask. A quick, “Is there anything I should prepare ahead of time?” or “What’s most top-of-mind for you right now?” can go a long way.
Once you’re in the room (or on the screen), setting the tone matters. Be present. Put distractions away. Agree on the cadence and timing that works best and check in on how they prefer to communicate or solve problems. Everyone is different. Some people like structure; others thrive on more open dialogue. Noticing small things—like a shift in body language or energy—can open the door to deeper conversations. A curious, caring comment like, “You seem a little off today—are we missing something?” can uncover things that don’t make it into the agenda.
And that’s the beauty of a good one-on-one. It creates space for real conversation. That means asking open-ended questions—not to tick a box, but to understand. Ask what’s working, what’s getting in the way, and what needs attention. “What else?” and “Tell me more,” are two of the most powerful phrases you can use. Resist the urge to jump in with solutions. Instead, listen—really listen.
One-on-ones are also a great time to offer feedback and motivation. Circle back to what’s been shared in previous meetings. Something as simple as, “Last time you mentioned X was a challenge—how’s that going now?” shows that you’re paying attention. And don’t forget to recognize wins. A genuine, “You did a great job on that project,” can light up someone’s day. Just as important is asking, “What support do you need right now?” or “Is there anything I can take off your plate?”
It’s also okay—and actually really helpful—to be flexible. Some days, the agenda won’t matter as much as what’s top-of-mind in the moment. Let those conversations happen. Ask, “Is there something more important to focus on today?” and adjust as needed. These meetings should serve the employee, not the other way around.
As you wrap up, take a moment to reflect together. “What was most helpful today?” or “What’s one thing you’re taking away from our conversation?” Those little moments of recap and reflection help anchor the value of the conversation. Then confirm who’s doing what, and by when.
Over time, it’s worth asking—are these one-on-ones working? Are they meaningful? Impactful? Make it normal to ask for feedback and be open to shifting how you approach them. What works for one person might not work for another. And what works today might need to evolve over time.
Common topics that come up in one-on-ones include team communication, feedback, recognition, career goals, problem solving, engagement, development needs—the list goes on. The key is not just having the conversation, but how you show up for it.
Done with care and intention, one-on-ones are more than meetings. They’re relationship-builders, trust-deepeners, and culture-shapers.
So next time you see that recurring meeting on your calendar? Treat it like the opportunity it is. Show up ready to connect, to listen, and to support. That’s where the real leadership lives.
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